OR: Spending time in Texas is fun but may be hazardous to your health.



Ah, con. CONNNNNNN! Con started off just right with friends and games and fun. I played a lot, but wasn't Essen rabid like many of the players in attendance. Mainly con was socializing, fluffy games, and not nearly enough Chick-Fil-A biscuits or sleep. Late nights, cool people, lots going on. Two player Agricola is pretty awesome, as are Cheeky Monkey, Blimpie Dice (the actual German name for this game escapes me) and the sweet little Jane Austen themed "Liebe & Intrigue," where you roam from beauty parlor to theatre to park in a desperate attempt to marry off your daughters while avoiding Casanova's damning eye and casting aspersions upon the daughters of the other players.

Headed down to Austin Sunday night, BBQ odyssey in the Hill Country Monday. Remember that Anthony Bourdain episode where he visits Osaka and goes on and on about kuidaore? We indulged in a bit of that Monday and I am sad to say, I cannot hang. I have no stamina, no eating power, no BBQ prowess whatsoever.

We started off at Black's in Lockhart, and since we were all starving, made the rookie mistake of ordering full lunches. Sublime brisket and the best rib I had all day. Not a huge mistake, cause Black's has the best sides in town, and once we got perfunctory veggies out of the way (heavily buttered mashed potatoes, green beans, and weirdly herbed creamed corn) out of the way it was was nothing but meat for the rest of the day.

From Black's it was straight on to Smitty's, whose smokeroom is so beautiful it brought a tear to my eye. Or that may have been all the smoke. Who knows. At Smitty's the foursome established our standard for the rest of the afternoon: two pieces of brisket, one rib, and one sausage split between us all. In time, this would shrink to one slice of brisket, barely picked at. Dryer meat at Smitty's, and I didn't like the tangy glaze on the rib. After a delicious restorative Blue Bell cone (the perfect palate cleanser,) it was on to Kreuz's.

Yes, we hit Black's, Smitty's, and Kreuz's all within a half an hour. This was brave, ambitious, and foolish. Dryer meat again at Kreuz's, but a nice Welch's grape goes so well with barbeque and the company was so much fun that it all went down nicely. After a small debate over whether a quick game of Wurfel Bingo would be appropo we departed for Luling.

It was on the way to Luling that the foolishness of our day's purpose hit us. So much barbeque... was it possible we'd hit that heretofore unbelieved too-much level? No. Can't be. You can't have too much barbeque, right?

Wrong.

We found Luling City Market and I promptly folded like a cheap metal chair. I couldn't even go into the smokeroom at the back with my compatriots. It felt awful, punking out like that, especially because I was the only one in the group who'd actually lived in Texas and really should have kept my sealegs a bit longer, but I was done. It smelled wonderful, I wanted to, but I just couldn't.

Oh the pain. The sickness. The gnashing of teeth.

Monday ended with a light dinner at Mother's. Yes, I recommended a vegetarian restaurant. That's what Monday reduced me to.

That's con and Austin (sort of.) The rest of the week perhaps tomorrow?